Weirdly Wonderful
by Yaoimelody
Summary: [Human!Au.] Today is Robert's birthday! Wait, Edward didn't know! His crush may do something drastic if he doesn't do something soon, but his personal fear of commitment holds him back... For now.


It was an unusually sunny day, but Edward couldn't even stop himself from enjoying the morning. Getting up in a sleepy state, he let his legs swing over the side and hit the wooden surface below. Stretching with his pale arms over his head, the golden-haired man tried not to let it hold him back. He padded over to his laid out clothing on the fancy bedside chair across the room by the door and pulled on his usual style of clothing. The appropriate tan polo shirt and teal slacks were put on much slower, but were for working at his job.

He then moved to the full-length wall mirror. Edward grimaced lightly, knowing he had to deal with hours of boredom. Well, that wasn't true. There was always… Robert. Not allowing his eyes to look back at what had to be a blushing mess of a man in his early thirties would only taunt him. Lightly shaking his head, he finally let his hazel eyes rest on the reflection, "Don't be ridiculous, and Eddy… You clearly don't look forward to seeing… him."

He took nightly showers so the tall male stalked downstairs. Without realizing it, he was about to leave without tugging on shoes. Kicking on the loafers with a slight scowl, Edward left his home silently. Looking side to side, he shrugged and began on his way. Suddenly he was confronted with the shorter but tough exterior of Patrick.

The man was in his mid-twenties, a little older than Robert. With oddly pinkish-red locks that grew quickly, but was usually gathered up into a loose ponytail with a few loose strands amid it all. The common dress was a pink v-neck and flowery green beach shorts, which went nicely with the natural tan he sported. Surprisingly the maniac of an eater was merely chubby, rather than morbidly obese like would be figured. A serious and intense look was on the usually blank slate of his face, "Edward, can I talk to you?"

Eventually the opposing nodded, locking eyes with the sea greens, "Uh, sure…"

"I'm not beating around the bush here, I know you like Bobby," stated the serious boy, his dull voice giving causing the other to gulp. "It's totally okay with me, but you should probably tell Robert soon or he might do something… I'm not sure what, but you get the idea. He's in love with you, and I hope you do it soon."

Edward felt a little relieved, but more dread was filling his heart up now, "Why now?" He couldn't possibly be ready now… or ever.

Noticing there was no such denying that he was expecting, Patrick let a smile take over his thin lips, "Because it's my buddy's birthday, of course!"

Feeling stupid, the blond nodded gently, "Well I guess that works."

"Really?" Gushed the younger, hoping his friend would get the present he's always wanted ever since first seeing their older neighbor.

"Yeah," grinned Edward, "I didn't get him a present to begin with… But maybe I have a good idea…"

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Robert smiled lightly as he flipped the patties quickly and with as much spunk as he had from day one. While children were told being a fry cook was no good, and they'd regret it, the dirty blond hated that. It was preference over all else, so maybe wanting to work in the fast food industry was in their ideals for the future. Shaking his slightly waving hair, the man got back to watching the grill. The grease bubbled all through the slats in the spatula, causing slightly recoil.

It was odd, seeing as the boy usually grew excited when the patties were done cooking. Then he could serve them up to the hungry customers. He hoped Edward came soon to help out… 'Edward…' He felt like a little schoolgirl, but couldn't help it. The hardened gaze from deep and thoughtful eyes, slightly larger than average Roman-style nose, and naturally full lips… "Oh no!" Robert exclaimed when he noticed he was taking too long removing the hamburger circles from the grill. Grasping the bun bag, he quickly got homes for the meat.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he spun around with the trio of earlier lunch to find Edward leaning on the open window the connected their stations. The smirk was actually in a better light. Tilting his head a bit, the older started up, "Good morning, Bobby."

'He never calls me that! I wonder if he finally got the good night of sleep I keep suggesting!' Grinning broadly, the boy suppressed his usual obnoxious laugh and handed over the order. "Order up!" He couldn't help that, but he found it mandatory.

"Thank you," the other practically purred, making this both weird and wonderful at the same time. He reached over to capture the slightly quivering tray; Bobby didn't have perfect coordination, and turned around to hand it to the customer. They nodded at each other and he found no one else was around to annoy him and the newly hatched plan, the man moved around to go into the kitchen. It was a bit disgusting, but the boy didn't seem to mind.

The shorter-haired smiled at the ponytail Edward was adorning, like usual at work, trying not to focus on the other impressive physical traits the grouch had. Well, for now it seemed there wasn't a crude comment or action in sight. "Hey Edward, how are you doing?"

"Oh you know, not that good," to signal why, the taller motioned around them at the establishment they were working at. "Though… maybe better now."

"Why do you say that?" Curiously Robert made eye contact with his major crush, hoping something would be given away.

Moving forward slowly, the brighter blond frowned a bit, "I guess you seem to be growing on me…" The laughter was not contained this time, "But I wish you told me it was your birthday today, Robert."

The shorter sighed softly, "Oh, uh, I didn't think you would have cared to know, since you know…. You don't ever seem to care about me…"

"I care too much is the actual problem…" breathed Edward coming closer quicker, and wrapped his arms around the smaller male. Suddenly the body began to shake, and he grew a bit worried, "Bobby…?"

"Sorry," sniffed the whiny vocals, "You just never really hug me first and mean it…"

Pulling back and tad so they could see each other clearly, the older looked just as shocked, "Then I should be the one to be sorry, but I'm not so good with the whole feelings deal, you know?"

The birthday boy nodded sincerely, and noticed how their faces were growing closer. He stopped by jerking his head back, "This is what I want for my birthday, Eddy, though… Are we boyfriends now?"

Just as the pale individual to answer-

A stocky man about ready to have a mid-life crisis barged in. His violent gray-streaked red hair, blue business attire, and as cheap with his attitude as his spending practically roared, "You two are gonna make me loose all me money!"

Their boss made them flinch, but Edward huffed and moved so he could stand next to the younger defensively, "I had something personal to talk with Robert about, and no customers were currently willing to get ripped off at the moment."

Twitching, the bushy-browed oldest sneered lightly, "Oh isn't that nice, you're willing to risk having me money walking right out the door from something that could wait 'til you were out of work?"

"You're absolutely right, Mister Krabs!" Gasped the longer working employee with a faker sense of realization. "Since Bobby here is currently having his birthday, I think we can take the rest of the day off." Without another word, but plenty of gaping from their management, the taller slipped an arm around his smaller crush's frame and walked out with him. How empowering that was!

Not saying one thing until they reached Robert's front door, the grand yellow home decorated even though not much time seemed to have passed. Bobby peered over at the lithe male sweetly, "Is this all for me?"

"Yes," sighed the older in a content voice, having no room to be angry at all. The other was just too contagious for such a thing at times. He moved so they could be chest to chest in a new hug, "Oh, and another yes."

"For wha-" He shouldn't have even asked; their faces were as close as possible for the, embarrassing in a way, first kiss for either of them. It was clumsy, but also very innocent and completely and utterly-

The door opened to show the close friends and family of the birthday boy, all faces beamed encouragingly.

Larry, with a washboard body, great social status, and full with surfer tan plus good looks chuckled and spoke up first, "Man, I should've thought of that present!"

((A/N: (Squidward had long blond hair in one of the episodes, of course it fell out, but he would look good as person and like that I would think, so I did that.) I kind of based their human selves off of fan drawings, but gave twists of my own hopefully. I may do more of this (like a series of chapters?) if I get good feedback. Sorry, I need something different to do right now so I don't get bored too easily...))


End file.
